Sunday, July 24, 2011

a 30-something in the city - time to settle down?

If you are in your thirties, does that mean it's grown-up time?  Are we supposed to settle down now?  Are we supposed to settle, period?

It's a transformational era for some 30-somethings.  That, OH NO I HAVE TO BE AN ADULT NOW epiphany.  There's some sort of timer when your 29 that says, this is the last year I can have fun and do what I want.  Is it though?  The day of your 30th birthday, does that mean you should be trolling every dating website, creeping at supermarkets and bars and asking every friend if they have any singletons handy? Subscriptions to every match, fish, chemisty, russian bride site imaginable on your birthday list. Can we relax and let nature take it's course?

This age means you've more than likely had relationships you NEVER want to repeat and, perhaps, have a better understanding of what you DO want.  You've become "you."  You know what you like, what you don't, and hopefully are what you want to be when you grow up. So, yes, maybe it's time to hang up the "player" persona and look for some quality over quantity.  But that's not always a bad thing.  Doesn't mean you should have wedding invites ready... just need to insert a name here and there.  You can still go out, have fun looking and see what's out there.  So, cancel your order for 12 doves and 100 pounds of jordan almonds.  It can wait.

Those of you 30-somethings that do have on matrimony goggles, that doesn't mean you should settle.  Now, if your dream man is Johnny Depp... literally Johnny Depp, then maybe you should reconsider your MUST HAVE list.  I'm not too picky.  I'll take either Ewan McGregor or Jon Hamm.  But seriously, just because you want to start a family life soon, doesn't mean you have to give a second or third thought about that smooth dancer on the dancefloor, jerking uncontrollably w/ his hand placed firmly, and I mean FIRMLY, on your buttocks and think, "can I get past the fact he kind of looks like Rumpelstiltskin?"  Or some sort of creepy goatee wearing leprechaun.  And do you really need to be married within the next year or two?  Be Kurt and Goldie. 

NO LADIES, you don't have to settle.  You can reevaluate.  But you don't have to settle.  Yes, Johnny Depp is beautiful, but maybe look for an artistic guy w/ a great fedora.  Guys, you can still look for that supermodel who just happens to be at the Phyrst, but honestly, you probably won't find her.  Don't just settle for this girl or that girl because she's ok and available. Remember, it's quality, not quantity.  If there aren't fireworks and opera singers upon eyes locking in on each other for the first time, that's ok.  Just as long as there is a spark when you have that first kiss.  (Hopefully it was a sober snog.) 

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