a 30-something... Recap

Was just at the Safeway.

Sorry everyone, it's been a while since my last blog. I barely have had time to comb my hair (so if you see me, pay no attention to the gigantic dreadlock-like knots)so unfortunately, I slacked here.

Let me get you caught up.

I travel to Northern VA a few times a year to visit with my best friend and her family. Friday, while they were at work, I ventured into Old Town Warrenton on my own with my camera. Stopped at a lovely bakery... got a muffin and iced tea. Then, off to a fair trade jewelry/clothing store. Really nice day... THEN...

I decided to go to the old jail museum. I listened to the history from the nice older man volunteering and couldn't wait to visit the solitary confinement area. Yeah, I'm a weirdo like that. Then, I heard it. This voice... the kind of voice you hear when your parents said - don't talk to strangers. That jolly-creepy Mr. Hanky kind of voice (South Park reference if you didn't know). "Great, I'm going to get stuck w/ him," I thought while looking at prison toothbrushes. Yup. I did. Stopped me to ask if I'd like to go visit his mu.zee.um. Then on and on about how he has his own and would I like to come and see it? He was a slight, older man w/ the 50's slicked back hair. He wrote down the address and added, "It's behind the Safeway... you know where the Safeway is?" Asked for my phone number and name. (Sorry random number I made up, and I really hope no one there is named Hilda!) Told a not-pc joke and added, "I liiiike to make people laugh? Do you like to laugh? I'll make you laugh all day long if you come to my museum."

Yeah, I think by laugh he means, beg for freedom when he has you shackled to his radiator. Apparently his "museum" is an apartment behind the Safeway. The kind volunteer told me. Thanks creepster. Ruined my jail time. Basically sprinted through the rest in case I got stuck with him in maximum security. And I could not guarantee that I wouldn't shove him in and jump over the metal staircase. It didn't come down to that.

Let's see... what else is going on.

A few random emails came through from a dating website. One from an older man (no, not the Safeway Creeper - I'm trademarking that if he really is the next wackadoo on the news) whose profile is like Donald Trump's resume and who likes to replace "o" w/ "q". Don't ask. I did. No response. A few more "hi" emails. That's all you have to say, then move along pardner (tipping my cowboy hat).

I'm sure I'll remember more stories for next week's blog. And perhaps one after my band's show tonight. I'm sure I'll have some great stories about a Halloween party at a bar. (Side note, I'm going as Det. Olivia Benson. Special Victims Unit. Keeping an eye out for perps. And pervs. I need some good material for you guys. I just need a Stabler...) And no, not a slutty detective.

Now, I'm off to shoot a wedding, in the snow. Have a happy and safe Halloween everyone!

a 30-something in the city - a black fly in your chardonnay

There he is ladies.  He looks smart, has a great smile (complete with all of his teeth AND they are almost sparkling) that he has flashed at you and says hello.  You chat for a minute or so and notice that you've just tucked your hair behind your ears when you laughed at his actually funny joke.  You sit back down with your friends and he waves when he passes by.  Your smile actually becomes slightly annoying to your table of pals finishing their drinks. 

Ahhh, an anomaly.  Good looking guy in his thirties that doesn't appear to be a playah.  You're home after your evening out and have settled in to check your Facebook.  Google... well, why not? (Yes, just admit it ladies, you look them up.  embrace the creeper in you) And then... you find out the most blah-inducing news.  MARRIED.  It's almost like a virus warning on your computer.  Flashing lights and sirens wailing.  Ok!  I get it!  Unavailable!  And you swear your laptop even said it quietly when you closed the page.  You aren't crushed but it's like you left your packed lunch out in the rain and your pb-j is soggy.  Nothing you can do.  *sigh*

We're at that age where most people are married. Or on their second or third wedding ring.  And if they aren't married, you start thinking... what's wrong?  Likes the ladies TOO much?  Has a weird "action figure" (doll) collection?  Lives w/ Mother whom he has to bring out on dates as a chaperone?  Where are the "normal" ones?  It's ok to be quirky or a little crazy (but not Norman Bates crazy).  It's even ok to have a Yoda on your desk.  A, singular, Yoda.  Not the whole cantina scene replicated in your cube, complete w/ wookie. 

So yes Alanis, it IS like a black fly in your chardonnay.

a 30-something in the city - time to settle down?

If you are in your thirties, does that mean it's grown-up time?  Are we supposed to settle down now?  Are we supposed to settle, period?

It's a transformational era for some 30-somethings.  That, OH NO I HAVE TO BE AN ADULT NOW epiphany.  There's some sort of timer when your 29 that says, this is the last year I can have fun and do what I want.  Is it though?  The day of your 30th birthday, does that mean you should be trolling every dating website, creeping at supermarkets and bars and asking every friend if they have any singletons handy? Subscriptions to every match, fish, chemisty, russian bride site imaginable on your birthday list. Can we relax and let nature take it's course?

This age means you've more than likely had relationships you NEVER want to repeat and, perhaps, have a better understanding of what you DO want.  You've become "you."  You know what you like, what you don't, and hopefully are what you want to be when you grow up. So, yes, maybe it's time to hang up the "player" persona and look for some quality over quantity.  But that's not always a bad thing.  Doesn't mean you should have wedding invites ready... just need to insert a name here and there.  You can still go out, have fun looking and see what's out there.  So, cancel your order for 12 doves and 100 pounds of jordan almonds.  It can wait.

Those of you 30-somethings that do have on matrimony goggles, that doesn't mean you should settle.  Now, if your dream man is Johnny Depp... literally Johnny Depp, then maybe you should reconsider your MUST HAVE list.  I'm not too picky.  I'll take either Ewan McGregor or Jon Hamm.  But seriously, just because you want to start a family life soon, doesn't mean you have to give a second or third thought about that smooth dancer on the dancefloor, jerking uncontrollably w/ his hand placed firmly, and I mean FIRMLY, on your buttocks and think, "can I get past the fact he kind of looks like Rumpelstiltskin?"  Or some sort of creepy goatee wearing leprechaun.  And do you really need to be married within the next year or two?  Be Kurt and Goldie. 

NO LADIES, you don't have to settle.  You can reevaluate.  But you don't have to settle.  Yes, Johnny Depp is beautiful, but maybe look for an artistic guy w/ a great fedora.  Guys, you can still look for that supermodel who just happens to be at the Phyrst, but honestly, you probably won't find her.  Don't just settle for this girl or that girl because she's ok and available. Remember, it's quality, not quantity.  If there aren't fireworks and opera singers upon eyes locking in on each other for the first time, that's ok.  Just as long as there is a spark when you have that first kiss.  (Hopefully it was a sober snog.)