Sunday, August 21, 2011
a 30-something in the city - adventures in online dating part 3
I was working on some writing and have a few windows open. A little envelope popped up on my screen alerting me to a message. A "bet" was lost and quietguy2009 (names have been changed to protect the wackadoos) needed help w/ his "punishment." The details were vague about the bet and no information was given on what exactly the punishment was. So of course, I have to reply, "ok, spill it." The bet, unimportant BUT there was great detail in email #2 on the wager. Could I assist him in dressing up as a maid? Complete with makeup and costume. He already acquired some eyeshadow and lipstick but could I help w/ the smaller details and wait, it gets better... if I have anything that needs to be cleaned, that would be even better.
Most normal people either reply "freak!" or don't reply at all. Now, I'm not exactly the most "normal" person I know. I mean, come on... that takes some guts to pretend to have lost a bet (yeah, the details on the punishment were waaaaaay too in-depth to be a - yo, lost a bet, can you take a pic of me dressed up as a woman?) and then to ask if I needed my house cleaned. Hmmmm, now the thought did cross my mind that I could get a clean house out of this, BUT I wrote back, "Sorry! I don't think I'm the right one to help you with this, but good luck!" No response.
The newer site isn't a total creepfest...now, I'm not saying there aren't any of your friendly neighborhood nutjobs either. The "I don't have a photo because I am too well known" fellow is right next to the "married... but it's ok to browse" guy. And the dude w/ puppets. Yup, puppets (or as I now want to refer to him, Yuppets). Or the newman (Newman!) doppleganger who is looking for "casual s#x." And of course, the no-photo "professor" who spells every other word wrong in his "want spoyled?" email.
This is what's out there. Hey married couples, see what your single friends are dealing with nowadays? And relatives can now be shown these profiles the next time one asks "so, when are you going to settle down?" Well Aunt Bertha, would you like to see profisorspoyalots page and tell me if you'd like him at our next Thanksgiving dinner across from you? Can he get a "plus one" for his wife?